Flash Backs

I have had a few loves in my life from my early years to the gray haired days. Mary Lane, Sunni, FaFa, Elaine and Joy were my growing years. When I first met Sue she wasn't impressed with me at all and it drove me crazy. She was and is my soul mate. Christy a crazy ass red neck, someone that had never seen life or what was possible. She is a true friend, though she lets people and emotions lead her away. How do you describe your children? Both of mine are unbelievable,so different but they hold my heart forever. My son Matt just ask anyone, he had to take after his mom to be what he is and Sam, well she does take after me more than is good. Sam is a lover, a giver and true stinker. Matt is amazing smart and down to earth, my favorite golf partner and they are both the memories I want flashing for my last thoughts.

Christmas Eve

I have had headaches for a week now. They aren't painfull just a constant pressure that won't quit. Sam is at her moms and I am alone, kind of depressing being alone after I thought I was spending it with them. Really looking forward to Texas next weekend. Dr appointment should be interesting Thursday. Well time to try to mask the headache.

My head hurts, my feet stink and I don't love

Well I have had a headache for two days, hoping it is nothing but afraid of what it could be. Maybe something simple like blood pressure. Looking forward to Christmas, going to DC and really looking forward to Th's wedding. Everything else is good need to lose weight and get starboard engine running but still OK. Learning some new songs and looking for excuses to play them. Later

Wow just another day

Keep wondering what i need to do to get to be a part of Katy and Matt's life. Going to send some kollaches hope it goes over well. Don't know why but I keep looking at survival rates and there is nothing on melanoma and yervoy, but I feel so good it's scary. Yes over weight and way out of shape but I feel good. Seeing a sunrise everyday and often ones that make memories is my focus it seems. Th is heading to maybe her first legal gay wedding and it's about damn time. Maybe people will realize that racisim is not just color,theology or sexual orientation. Oh well back to football Dallas won.

Hill Country Holiday

Thanksgiving was great. There is nothing better than spending time with people you love. Texas hill country has to be one of the most beautiful places on earth (at least to me). I know no one is following this and I kinda like it that way. I have quit thinking about my thigh and why it always hurts. I am starting my light plan for getting in shape. I need to lose 25lbs. Oh well winter is getting close and I do not like it.

Almost a Holiday

First one without Dad kinda strange but it is going to be good to spend time with family. I love the Texas Hill Country if I can't die on the Gulf let it be under a Hill Country star lit sky. I plan on spending as much time as I can there this summer. Maybe I will learn to play guitar. Hope Harnold and Laura buy some land soon.

Fall is failing

Nice storm last night, windy and wet. cooling off now and I don't like it I like warm. Don't usually say much about sports bu Texas A&M showed everyone that the are ready for the SEC. Thanksgiving is coming up and I am so ready to hang out with family in Kerrville.Who knows when the last time will be.

Another Sunrise

A little cooler today but still OK. Not looking forward to winter I am so ready to live on the gulf. Will have little boat running today and will pull it for winter. Going to Home Depot later to get some material to start galley changes. Really looking forward to Thanksgiving wish more of the family could be there. Banjo dying this past week was strange, never thought he would die before me. Still haven't heard what it was. Need to go see CJ it just all seems to be coming to quickly. Feel good except the really sharp pains in my legs, guess I will go to the Dr. next week.

Sails in the wind

As I get older I find that what really makes me aware of my own mortality is loosing my friends. Just lost Banjo not sure what took him but the last few years were rough on him. We were neighbors at the marina and got to be true friends. I played guitar and he played everything but loved banjo. Having the same name he became Banjo Walter and I was Guitar Walter and I think he enjoyed that name. I wish I had video's of the jams we did but I guess I do in my mind. I am getting ready for Thanksgiving with my family and trying to go there with five new songs but my focus is not what it needs to be. Well past my pass out time so Pandora and REK tonight I think.

Some Beach

Well so far it has been a good weekend. Hit Flea Markets with Sam and her mom yesterday it was an enjoyable oouting though a little strange. Christy needed something to take up her time so she didn't have to think about her situation. Looks like winter is coming and that is something I could do without. It would be nice to on the Gulf somewhere anchored out or just sitting in the sand.

Made a quick trip to Tyler to see Genevieve for her birthday. Sometimes I feel guilty about not seeing her more often. Going to work on starter on runaboat today. I am really going to make an effort to do two to three projects a week. Lookong forward to Thanksgiving.

Early Morning Drive

Driving to work very few cars on the road, dark and time to think or remember. I miss you dad just thinking about the years in Rockport and some of our adventures in Las Vegas. I think about my life and how I have not really done much compared to you. I haven't been as good a father as you were and wish I had more time with Matt. Sam is at the age she is seperating herself from me and it hurts. About to get rear head put back together. Next project shower then head by V berth but no rush on it. Kinda tough finding parts for old toilets. If all is good next summer I am taking at least a one week trip up river. Well time to pretend I'm working. las

It just feel strange trying to put my thoughts down because I look at death every day. I must be one sad SOB. Insurance wouldnt approve a PET scan so we did a CT. Not sure what it will show just know I hvave some knots in my left groin area that are not comfortable. Oh well life on the river os great, out at the sand bars and enjoying the weather like he said "the weather is here I wish you were beautiful

Just got back from the wedding an it was great. Not quiete like Matt's where the cousins got a little crazy. Steal this bar of soap right you that is too much like me? I really missed Mom and Dad for some reason but the ones that were there made it great. I haven't sent this to any of my family and have no followers and thats good because I hope this is my story to read when I am gone. It is so hard to talk about what I will miss the most because it is family. No actually I won't miss anything I will be dead, but thinking about what I would miss makes me cry. CANCER SUCKS When it comes to the end Willie stole my line " Roll me up and smoke me when I'm gone".

Getting ready for Chris's wedding. Thinking about what we have in store. I am so ready to start putting my shit in order. So much to do. Knowing I have a PET scan scheduled and knowing that what ever it shows won't change the outcome I do get down a little. Great time at the private Eli Young concert made me realize life is still good. Tired from too much activity getting ready for bed and so hsppy I get to see Matt and Katy.

Roll with the Punches

We just keep loosing more as we get older Gary, Steph, Dad and old friends. I don't know why I find it so hard to keep up with this I guess if I was more interesting or more exciting it would be different. Busted some ribs Saturday and damn it hurts. Really looking forward to Chris and Jamie's wedding and seeing Matt. I have the most amazing children there are times I want to brag but don't because I get carried away. Missing Sammi, I know she is growing up and will move on but it hurts. My brothers and sisters have all been such a strength for me if I didn't have them to lean on not sure what I would do some time. Richard really carrying the load in Dad's death, funeral and the execution of the will. I need to get with Th and go over mine again. Sometimes I feel like it's coming way too soon. Well this week get fuel cleaned in big boat and get little boat in water.

Way to long since last post. I am doing well new treatment yervoy seems to be working other than side effects kinda suck. Lost Brother in Law to cancer two years ago, a month later his 38 year old daughter, my first niece to breast cancer, this February my Dad to cancer + age, then last month a true friend Big E to lung cancer and life goes on. Working on my boat, thinking of taking to Helena Blues Festival could be only trip or first of many, who knows. My 12 year old daughter is growing up and away from me and that sucks. I truely have a great family all siblings, nephews, nieces, and thier children. My son is my pride a lawyer in DC and a really good person. I thank his mom for that. Next month a wedding in Arlington Texas for Chris my nephew really looking forward to that. Hope as many as possible will be there. I am ggoing to try to keep up with this even though I am LAZY. Hope for a cure PLEASE